


What Do I Do With All This Love That's Running Through My Veins For You?

by viola_rae10



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, I asked a couple people on Tumblr with this exact song lyric, and I wanted to do my own spin on it too, its called new light by John Mayer, its just..... a really good song, these guys are hopeless I love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viola_rae10/pseuds/viola_rae10
Summary: Inej knows how to stay in control. Her breathing, her balance, her emotions. But her feelings for Kaz?





	What Do I Do With All This Love That's Running Through My Veins For You?

Inej tries not to let the enemy know she’s nervous. She’s in control of her breath, of her instincts, of her impulses. She’s always known how to maintain stillness and observe without being seen. She was the Wraith, after all. The Dregs’ Spider. Kaz’s spider. All of her skills relied on her ability to control what she was doing and what her body was doing.

How could she keep control over this?

It didn’t happen immediately. In fact, when they first came in contact, Inej tried to reproach Kaz Brekker for his attitude and the way he carried himself. He seemed like the time of person who knew exactly how to get what he wanted.

“I paid your indenture,” he had told her, “so I can use you to my advantage. I think you have skills that could help us out.”

Inej had remained silent, gliding by his side.

“I can understand your anger, Ghafa,” he’d continued, “All things considered, it’s certainly better than living with Heleen, don’t you think?”

“I suppose it is,” she replied after a bit, her Kerch speech heavy with accent. She had no ambition to return to The Menagerie, but she also didn’t want this affiliation with the Dregs. She’d heard enough of Kaz and his crew while she was at The Menagerie; bad news.

They’d reached Goedmedbridge, where Inej stopped. Kaz continued for a few steps before realizing that she was no longer at his side. He turned around to look at her. “Aren’t you coming?”

She hesitated, keeping her breathing as even as she could. It was a technique that she developed to maintain a level head while employed under Heleen. “I will pay my indenture back to you,” she said, looking him dead in the eyes. The sun seemed to catch his irises, and she saw his eyes were dark color of coffee, lacking cream. They seemed softer than they initially look. Almost like pity, but it was more than that. Admiration? At what? They’ve barely exchanged ten words.

Despite that, Inej couldn’t stop her stomach from fluttering and her heart from thumping harder against her ribs. She won’t deny that Kaz Brekker was handsome. Pretty, even. And he was kind enough, she supposed, for paying off her indenture to Tante Heleen. Why did she feel this way? She wasn’t in control anymore. These feelings she experienced were no longer in her wheelhouse. Inej couldn’t speak; she could only stare at Kaz.

Kaz stared back, until a smile ghosted his lips. “I don’t doubt that, Ghafa. Let’s go.”

She remained at his side for years, doing everything she could for the Dregs in the process. The feelings she felt that first day did not dwindle, did not diminish, but remained strong despite her efforts. The worst part about it all was that she knew her feelings resulting in something tangible would be almost impossible. Kaz was impossible. He never showed his positive emotions, he was reclusive, and he despised touch. That was why he always wore the gloves and refrained from handshakes, she observed. Kaz never told her why he despised touch. In fact, he never told anyone about why he is the way that he is, or how he became Kaz Brekker, a very young gang leader in the Barrel. His intensity made it easy to forget that he was only seventeen, barely a year older than Inej herself. She, honestly, was surprised that that intensity didn’t shove her away.

While she wasn’t in control of her developing her feelings for Brekker, she was in control of letting them show, especially around him. She tried her damndest to remain the same Inej, shared sarcastic sense of humor and faithful spider. As far as she knew, Kaz didn’t share the same feelings, or knew about hers. She was skilled in her privacy.

Kaz, on the other hand, was in the same boat as Inej. His feelings took longer to develop than Inej’s did, way further than their first meeting, but they hit him hard. He remembers the day it happened; he never forgets a think, you see. He took a look at Inej while she was engaged in a conversation with someone else, a joke was cracked, and it was the first time he’d heard her laugh. He felt the heat rise in his neck and face, the way his heart pounded harder against his ribs, and twisted his stomach into nausea. He hadn’t felt like that since Saskia, and that was a part of the whole con. That hurt. How could he let himself feel this way about another person? Another person so close to him?

It wasn’t like Inej tried to see if he felt the same way. She perched outside the window to his room at the Slat, watching his movements and his activities at his desk. She listened intently to the way he talked about her to others, the way he acts around her, everything. Never a hint. It was a little frustrating to say the least, but she knew better than to ask. But there was something in her gut that made her keep searching for a sign that the feelings were mutual from Kaz. Ever since that first day on Goedmedbridge, there had been that feeling. Something Inej couldn’t control.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little shorter than I thought it was gonna be and kind of rushed because it's been on my Google docs since May. But enjoy regardless!


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